Cosmopolitan Shag

I wrote a number of posts back that Patrick Stewart melts me, and although I have to take Yahoo's carnivalesque banners in limited doses, this because I lived on the site portal at one time, losing not a few dissertations I'll never publish, screaming to Jerry in an unpleasant inner falsetto, "I'm sorry, I cannot complete the terminal arc, the human animal has wasted me, I am sorry." What powers of absolution do I believe this teacher deity holds? I punish myself for the invisible incompletions; he is only a representation of my failure in those early years of cyber and telephone sexual fantasies. I was very popular, due to my imagination, and with much effort, I did hook up, and now the article has led me to the classical heart throb, but those days are finished. I know cougar is the descriptive term du jour for women my age, but I just do not have the will to keep getting stomped on by the men of intelligence I want who don't feel anything for me, and my ex, Frank, he was obedient as long as I was willing to engage on the fictions of his virility, but I did not see the love he said he felt, and had I married him, he'd be in his hospital bed, probably complaining that I make love to the laptop and the cats, but to him, never. It would have been the truth, and we never engaged in intercourse because it would have been physically impossible, and he was impotent due to three, five, underlying conditions that came with his stroke. Stewart is 72, a classical actor who seems to stay smartly in the confines of his range, an ex-wife, children. I am not sure if his Claudius  was subversive or too molded by conceptualizations of the television set. 72, but that projection he was as Jean Luc contained things I had always wanted in a partner: confidence, wry depreciation, a mature masculinity that held bravado within reason, a magnetic rather than pretty attraction. Jeremy Irons shares similar attributes. Could they possibly be cloned, raffled off in a lotto? Do they cope with erectile dysfunction? I am still not ready for prime time, but I have to get out tomorrow, maybe Thursday and Friday, so I have to take care not to push myself too hard.