Chased by a bear

Fiendish and caustic this afternoon to the point that Mekhi might consider strangulation too dignified for glittering bitterness, his stint as Othello the baller was outrageously too self-conscious, and the play is the least liked of the great tragedies. Nelson and Kaaya locked themselves in an inflationary reverence which is not served by the sinister pathos of the Elizabethan staged original. I should just stop here and go back to bed and finish charging there, as I have to make my first run to Walgreens later this evening to purchase a starter kit, and yet I persist here and not sure why I do so, as I surfed to my url on my kindle, a free view, why bother to pay Amazon to download? What is the value I offer? Am I going to do real time profiles and engage in an integrated dark genius? Will Google allow me to re install Ad Sense once I close my other account if I can figure out what the fuck I am doing? Not if I was ready to celebrate Dorner's anarchy if it had been better planned. I wanted the man to win, to beat the system, and instead he murdered a beautiful woman and her fiance for the emptiness of hollow taunts, allegedly. I thought Navy Seals were precision experts, technically lethal and able to achieve valid goals, and this event was nothing, modern spree madness, death by every law enforcement agency this country is able to utilize. Stupid bastard. We're all stupid bastards, and my excuse is diabolical pity in public housing radiator heat, bags of cat dung, Google keying me into Jerry's email. I should have never contacted him, but did anyway despite the femoral artery bleed. That is how I handle emotional investments.

I may have known about the Orangeburg Massacre before I saw the documentary time slot scheduled for this afternoon, but if I did I buried it. Race riots were one thing, Kent State another, and in a post-9/11 world, civil disobedience, social order and terrorism, these boundaries have been splintered into a social structure that is unnerving, unsure of itself, looking over its shoulder for the next serial player to defy models and ideology. Is it a problem with identity and community, shared experience?

Yes, but more than that, our systems are outstripping the ability of our biology to cope with it, and we lose perspective, thinking that human means more than it actually does, a highly evolved animal that is no more than that, highly evolved, and I plead guilty to being caught in the crux of that struggle: if we evade extinction in current geological time, I would be astonished, though my identity would long be recycled. Perhaps I was the last saber tooth, fallen to the extraordinary ability of the primate hand.