Feline Neutering

The Wings of the Dove is perverse because it is a great novel.-- Dr. Carrol Cox, blinded with age

News items such as this allow me to understand death threats to those involved in animal husbandry, like the breeder in the article. I have a soft spot for shepherds, and despite my education and intelligence, it is difficult for me not to feel that this bastard should have been shot himself; it points to my dim view of omnivorous primates. Love the cats, but the nagging, hate the cats, aerial check on inner animal cruelty repression when mother wants to be left alone: my dead Joey, I ran into him by accident, layered onto the guilt of losing him due to urinary tract blockage, most he ever received was a bop on the nose when he broke a light bulb.

I found this article searching for a news item on the suicide death of an electrician in a domestic dispute who was a friend to my cousin, who is an arson squad investigator. Marie told me about it in order to lash out at me. She can't handle her sons. She can't handle me, nor the fact that her brother, with his MRSA, his dementia, should be living in Presby, or something similar, more than I.

This has taken me a few angry days. Kimmy woke me at 11:30 this morning to outrageous gas pains, but I maintained control, not always so lucky. I sent Billy an email with quotidian sentiments for his friend, even while realizing I do not give a flying fuck about him, his sick wife, (not entirely accurate, and more an indication of my frustration, always trying to rebuild my own social set with suitable candidates and feeling rebuffed here, subtly) his fucked up mother's screeching voice in my head, her denial about her situation, her eldest son's cold reality check about getting her placed in a facility, where confidence reigns that my aunt, shrieking like a fury, could find Kasem. 

All that I've endured, and an electrician with two children blows his brains out. Domestic discord. Read Madame Mauves. James had a discordant middle age note or two. What does family mean anymore if we're all eschewing obligation that normally come with familial ties? I lied to him about not telling my audience, but being darker than he knows? That's a race to the bottom of the glass.